Therapy Overuse Assessment Tool
Take This Short Assessment
Answer these 6 questions based on your experience. Your results will help identify if therapy is serving you as intended.
Therapy isn’t a cure-all. It’s a tool-sometimes life-changing, sometimes just a steady rhythm in your week. But what happens when you start showing up every day? When your therapist becomes your closest confidant, your weekly appointment the only time you feel truly seen? It’s not rare. In fact, more people than you think are in therapy for years, sometimes decades. And while that’s not automatically bad, it can become a problem if you’re not paying attention to the signs.
Therapy isn’t meant to be permanent
Most therapy models are designed to be time-limited. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, for example, often runs 12 to 20 sessions. Solution-Focused Therapy might wrap up in under 10. Even long-term psychodynamic work usually has a clear endpoint in mind: gaining insight, changing patterns, building skills. The goal isn’t to make you dependent on your therapist. It’s to help you become your own best support system.
But real life doesn’t always follow the textbook. Trauma, chronic anxiety, or deep-seated attachment wounds can stretch therapy out. That’s okay-if progress is happening. The problem isn’t duration. It’s stagnation. If you’re going week after week and your goals haven’t shifted in six months-if you’re still talking about the same childhood incident, the same fear of abandonment, the same panic attack before meetings-then you might be using therapy as a safety net, not a stepping stone.
When therapy becomes a crutch
Imagine someone who breaks their leg. They go to physical therapy for six weeks. They do their exercises. They regain mobility. Then they stop. That’s healthy. Now imagine that same person keeps going to PT for three years because they’re scared to walk without the therapist holding their hand. That’s not healing. That’s avoidance.
Therapy can become the same kind of crutch. You start relying on your therapist to tell you how to feel, what to say, whether to leave your partner, whether to quit your job. You don’t make decisions until you’ve run them past them. You feel lost without your session. You start canceling plans because you’re "too emotionally drained" after talking about your feelings. That’s not growth. That’s dependency.
A 2023 study in the Journal of Clinical Psychology found that clients who stayed in therapy beyond 18 months without measurable progress were more likely to report increased feelings of helplessness and reduced self-efficacy. In other words, the longer they stayed without change, the less they believed they could handle things on their own.
Therapy can reinforce negative patterns
Here’s something most people don’t talk about: therapy can accidentally reinforce the very problems it’s meant to fix.
For example, if you keep talking about how your parents never validated you-and your therapist nods, agrees, and explores it deeply every time-you start to believe your entire identity is built around that wound. You stop looking for validation elsewhere because you’ve trained yourself to wait for it in the therapy room. You begin to see yourself as someone who can’t function without being heard by a professional.
Same thing happens with trauma. Revisiting painful memories is necessary. But if you’re constantly reliving them without integrating new coping tools, you’re not healing-you’re rehearsing. Your nervous system starts to associate safety with the therapist’s office, not with your own strength. That’s not empowerment. That’s entrenchment.
Signs you might be overdoing it
- You’ve been in therapy for more than two years without clear, measurable goals changing.
- You feel anxious or guilty if you miss a session-even if you’re not having a crisis.
- You’ve stopped trying to solve problems on your own because you’re waiting for your therapist’s input.
- Your friends or family have commented that you "talk like a therapist" or "analyze everything too much."
- You’ve stopped doing things you used to enjoy because you’re "too emotionally sensitive" now.
- You feel like you’re "not ready" to stop therapy, even though you’ve made real progress.
If three or more of these ring true, it’s worth asking: Am I healing-or just hiding?
Therapy isn’t the only way to heal
There’s a quiet myth in mental health culture: that if you’re not in therapy, you’re not trying. That’s false. Healing happens in so many places: in journaling, in movement, in community, in silence, in creative expression. In India, many people find healing through meditation, yoga, or talking with elders-not licensed professionals. That doesn’t make it less valid.
Therapy is powerful, but it’s not sacred. You don’t need to be in it to be well. In fact, the most resilient people I’ve worked with are those who used therapy as a bridge-not a home.
What to do if you think you’re overdoing it
First, don’t panic. Recognizing this is already a sign of awareness. Many people never get that far.
Here’s how to move forward:
- Review your original goals. Write them down. Have you met them? Are they still relevant?
- Ask your therapist directly: "Do you think I’m ready to reduce sessions or end?" A good therapist will welcome this conversation-not feel threatened by it.
- Try cutting back. Go from weekly to biweekly. Then monthly. Notice how you feel. Do you miss the structure? Or do you feel lighter?
- Build your own support system. Join a peer group. Start a journaling habit. Talk to a trusted friend without analyzing every word.
- Give yourself permission to stop. Healing doesn’t require a professional stamp of approval.
Some people need therapy for years. That’s normal. Others find their way out in months. Neither is better. What matters is whether therapy is helping you live more freely-or keeping you stuck in the past.
Therapy should make you less reliant on it
The best therapists don’t want you to come back. They want you to walk away knowing you can handle what comes next. They want you to feel the weight of your own strength, not their guidance.
Therapy is meant to be temporary. Not because healing ends, but because you become the one who carries it forward.
Is it normal to be in therapy for years?
Yes, it’s normal for some people-especially those dealing with complex trauma, chronic mental illness, or major life transitions. But normal doesn’t always mean healthy. The key question isn’t how long you’ve been in therapy, but whether you’re still growing. If your goals haven’t changed in over a year and you’re relying on sessions to get through daily life, it may be time to reassess.
Can therapy make you more anxious?
It can, especially if you’re constantly revisiting painful memories without building new coping skills. Therapy should challenge you, but not overwhelm you. If you leave every session feeling more drained than before, or if you start avoiding real-life situations because you’re "too triggered," that’s a red flag. Talk to your therapist about adjusting your approach.
How do I know if my therapist is good?
A good therapist encourages independence. They help you find your own answers, not give you theirs. They check in about your progress. They’re open to discussing how long you’ve been in therapy and whether it’s still serving you. If they get defensive when you ask about ending or reducing sessions, that’s a warning sign.
What are alternatives to therapy?
Many people find healing through peer support groups, mindfulness practices, creative outlets like writing or art, physical activity, spiritual communities, or even structured self-help programs. In India, practices like yoga, pranayama, and talking with family elders are deeply rooted forms of emotional support. You don’t need a license to heal.
Should I feel guilty about quitting therapy?
No. Therapy is a tool, not a moral obligation. Feeling guilty often comes from the myth that mental health work must be endless to be valid. But real progress means you no longer need the tool. That’s a win, not a failure. Celebrate it.
