How Do I Know If I Need Therapy?

You’ve been feeling off for weeks. Maybe it’s not a full-blown breakdown, but you’re not yourself. You snap at loved ones for no reason. You lie in bed scrolling through your phone, exhausted but unable to sleep. You’ve stopped calling friends. You cry in the shower. You tell yourself it’s just stress - but deep down, you know something’s not right. The question isn’t whether you’re broken. It’s whether you’re ready to ask for help.

You don’t need to be in crisis to need therapy

Therapy isn’t just for people who are falling apart. That’s a myth. Most people who start therapy aren’t screaming into pillows or skipping meals. They’re just tired. Tired of pretending. Tired of feeling empty even when life looks good on the outside. You might be functioning - holding a job, paying bills, showing up - but inside, you’re running on fumes. That’s enough reason to reach out.

Therapy isn’t about fixing what’s broken. It’s about understanding what’s draining you. It’s about learning how to carry your emotions without letting them crush you. You don’t need a diagnosis to benefit from talking to a trained professional. If you’ve been asking yourself, ‘Is this normal?’ for more than a few weeks, it’s time to listen to yourself.

These are the real signs therapy could help

• You’ve lost interest in things you used to love - coffee with friends, music, walking in the park. It’s not laziness. It’s numbness.
• You’re constantly on edge. Even small things - a delayed text, a loud noise - make you jump. Your body feels like it’s always bracing for impact.
• You’re having trouble concentrating. You read the same paragraph five times. You forget appointments. You zone out during conversations.
• You’re using food, alcohol, scrolling, or work to avoid feeling. You don’t want to talk about it because you’re afraid if you start, you won’t stop.
• You feel guilty for feeling bad. You think, ‘Others have it worse,’ so you bury it. But guilt doesn’t make pain disappear - it just makes it heavier.
• You’re having recurring thoughts you can’t shake. ‘I’m a burden.’ ‘No one would miss me.’ ‘I should just give up.’ These aren’t passing moods. They’re warnings.
• Your relationships are falling apart. You argue more. You withdraw. You feel disconnected even when you’re surrounded by people.
• You’ve had a major life change - job loss, breakup, death of a loved one, moving cities - and you haven’t felt like yourself since. Grief doesn’t have a timeline.

None of these mean you’re ‘crazy.’ They mean you’re human. And humans need support.

Therapy isn’t about being weak - it’s about being brave

In many cultures, including parts of India, asking for mental health help feels like admitting defeat. People say, ‘Just pray harder.’ ‘Stay busy.’ ‘Don’t think about it.’ But silence doesn’t heal trauma. Avoidance doesn’t fix anxiety. And pretending everything’s fine doesn’t make it true.

Therapy takes courage. It means facing parts of yourself you’ve buried. It means sitting with discomfort instead of numbing it. It means saying, ‘I can’t do this alone anymore.’ That’s not weakness. That’s the strongest thing you can do.

Think of it like going to a doctor for a persistent cough. You wouldn’t wait until you’re coughing up blood to seek help. Why wait until you’re emotionally collapsed to seek support?

What happens in therapy? (Spoiler: It’s not what you think)

Therapy isn’t a couch, a clipboard, and someone scribbling notes while you spill your soul. That’s Hollywood. Real therapy is quiet. It’s slow. It’s two people in a room, talking - sometimes in silence - until something shifts.

A good therapist doesn’t give advice. They ask questions. ‘What does that feeling remind you of?’ ‘When was the first time you felt this way?’ ‘What would happen if you didn’t push it away?’

You’ll talk about your childhood, your relationships, your fears. You might cry. You might laugh. You might sit there, stunned, realizing something you’ve believed for 20 years isn’t true. That’s the point. Therapy helps you untangle the stories you’ve been telling yourself - and replace them with ones that actually fit.

Therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all

There’s no single ‘right’ kind of therapy. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps with anxiety and negative thought patterns. Psychodynamic therapy digs into past experiences shaping your present. Mindfulness-based therapy teaches you to sit with emotions without reacting. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is great for emotional regulation.

You don’t need to know which one to pick. A good therapist will help you figure it out. The most important thing? Chemistry. If you don’t feel safe, heard, or respected after a few sessions, it’s okay to try someone else. Therapy works best when you feel seen.

In cities like Bangalore, you’ll find therapists who speak English, Hindi, Kannada, and even regional dialects. Many offer online sessions. You don’t need to travel far. You just need to show up - even if you’re scared.

How long does it take to feel better?

There’s no magic number. Some people feel lighter after three sessions. Others need months. It depends on what you’re carrying. Past trauma? Long-term depression? Chronic stress? These don’t vanish overnight.

But you’ll notice small changes first. You sleep better. You don’t snap at your partner. You take a walk without checking your phone. You say ‘no’ to something that drains you. These aren’t huge victories - but they’re real ones.

Therapy isn’t about becoming a different person. It’s about becoming more of yourself. The version of you that’s not hiding, not pretending, not exhausted from holding everything in.

What if I can’t afford it?

Cost is a real barrier. But therapy isn’t only for the wealthy. In India, many NGOs, community centers, and universities offer low-cost or sliding-scale therapy. Apps like YourDOST, MindFi, and MantraCare provide affordable online sessions starting at ₹300-₹800 per session. Some hospitals have mental health clinics with subsidized rates.

If you’re a student, check if your college offers free counseling. If you’re employed, see if your company has an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Many do - and you don’t need to explain why you’re using it.

Therapy is an investment. Not in luxury. In survival. In your ability to breathe again.

You’re not alone in this

One in five adults in India will experience a mental health condition in their lifetime. That’s not rare. That’s common. And yet, most suffer in silence because of stigma, shame, or the belief that no one understands.

But here’s the truth: the person sitting next to you on the metro, the colleague who always smiles at meetings, the friend who posts perfect vacation photos - they might be struggling too. You just can’t see it.

Asking for help doesn’t make you different. It makes you human.

What’s stopping you?

Maybe you’re afraid of what people will say. Maybe you think you should be able to handle it yourself. Maybe you’ve tried therapy before and it didn’t work - and you’re scared to try again.

Let me be clear: therapy isn’t a quick fix. And it’s not always comfortable. But it’s the most effective way to heal emotional wounds that won’t go away with time alone.

If you’re reading this and thinking, ‘Maybe I should…’ - that’s your inner voice asking for help. Don’t ignore it. Write down one therapist’s name. Call one clinic. Send one message. Take one small step.

You don’t need to be ready. You just need to start.